Tuesday 26 January 2010

Every Calamity has a Silver Lining...



To begin, a *Future Blog Warning* - subsequent posts will not contain passages of doom and gloom, misery and frustration and I hope never to write about an accident again. So, please don’t give up on me just yet. However, it is still Day 20 of the potential 40-Day Sentence so I’m afraid I’m not quite there.

I am, nonetheless, in a more reflective mood and have realised that the last few weeks have been, ahem, a journey; allowing some downtime, a bit of thinking time and some 1-handed doing-time. It is time to reflect on some of these things, both good and bad, in no apparent order...

Accidental Achievements:

• I have not drunk a drop of booze since the breakage in fear of going a*** over t** again. I am hangover-free, alert and a little more cash-heavy. (I am also boring as hell).

• I have caught up on emails (apologies if you finally get an answer to that email from July 2007), dull paperwork and most importantly people and exciting events such as wedding planning and festival organising.

• I have read 2 books, started a 3rd and have watched 2 films – an achievement considering I usually avoid sitting still for longer than, well, about 30 minutes.

• I am studying again, a Marketing Certificate with my new job to be precise. My plaster and I have an exam on the 22nd Feb. Wish us luck.

• I am slowly learning Spanish (que es un idioma hermoso), and could ask where the nearest Zara is without too much difficulty.

• I have increased my iPhone apps from 4 to 17 and can carry out ‘Impossibly Accurate Barcode Scanning’, find my nearest cash point and order a top from the comfort of my own phone, all while listening to yogic wind chimes.

• I have rediscovered old passions – watching a good old game of mid-week footy with my boyfriend. I am fast becoming the female Andy Gray and could give Jamie ‘we dream about it’ Redknapp a run for his money.

• I can do CTRL/ALT/DELETE with my on-the-mend-must-be-exercised left hand. Yes! Woo! (I really need to get out more).

Highly Annoying Hindrances:

• Left hand out of use means I can’t get the lid off jars, add much-needed volume when blow drying hair, tie my hair back or use a knife and fork. I can’t get a glove on it, even a mitten, and I have to be careful that my constantly upright arm peeking out of my coat is not mistaken for a weapon when entering a supermarket or post office.

• I am not running but, it would appear, everyone else in London is. I hear snippets of conversations on the street, in supermarkets, on the tube. ‘'I got up at 6am and ran along the river, it was marvellous, so refreshing!'’ I fight the urge to shout 'At 6am I was in the shower with a carrier bag over my vile cast washing my hair with 1- hand and trying to stay balanced just to give me enough time to get to work when I need to. It was NOT bloody marvellous'.

• I have lost my ability to multitask. For me, to multitask is to exist. I like speaking on my iPhone while emailing on my Blackberry while reading Vogue and waiting for my nails to dry with my dinner cooking in the oven. Now doing one of these tasks zaps me of energy and makes me want to lie on the floor. All I want to do is sleeeeep.

• I am not shopping. I think about fashion, I read about it, I talk about it, I even dream about it. I do not buy it as I am forced to wear big-sleeved jumpers. Sob.

I’m on the way to recovery of course and the best thing ever about this unfortunate episode is that is I get to spend time with Alex. It is bliss. I'm sure it's not for him. I am a shocking patient. (Sorry).


In fear of sounding smug though, please don’t be fooled. Most people will know this is slowly doing me in. A famous pre-eminent political and spiritual leader once said ‘there is more to life than increasing its speed’.

Mahatma, you have a point. However, I quite like the fast life myself. Roll on 3 weeks time.

N x

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