Searching for a job right now? Here’s some tips to keep yourhead safely above those perilous waters. You may have noticed that each headingis a song. No reason, I just like songs.
1. Get Up Everybody
Get up at the same time as your workinghusband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/flatmate/
etc every single day. Lying in bed till midday whenyou're 33 and job hunting is not the same as lying in bed when you're 23 aftera night out on the sauce. Believe me, it holds no pleasure and pretty soon theguilt will get you. That elusive job you really want won't come looking foryou, hidden there under the warm duvet. It can be really tough but dragyourself out of bed and embrace the day! (I know, I know. I'm annoying myself).
2. U Got the Look
Make sure you wash and get dressed immediately on rising. Innormal clothes. Soundssimple I know, but before you know it its midday and you're still festering inyour pjs tapping away on your laptop. Dressed? Well done! But seriously, you’rewearing that? Step away. Those baggy,travellers trousers paired with that t-shirt may have looked edgy at afestivals 3 pints of cider down, but believe me, you'll feel foolish when thepostman knocks, your Amazon delivery arrives or you bump into a neighbour whilepopping out to get milk looking like a deranged hippy in sequins. I'm nottalking high fashion or channelling your inner supermodel, just wear somethingrelatively normal. I promise it'll make you feel better, focused and moremotivated. Power dressing! So ‘80s, but so good.
3. Control
Sounds a bit bossy and rigid, but stay in control of your day andcompartmentalise your activities. Clever planning is the key to a productiveand happy you. Make a clear, realistic and attainable list the night before ofwhat you want to achieve the following day – activity relating to your jobsearch, those pesky admin tasks/online banking/birthday cards to write, apersonal email you’ve been meaning to send for yonks etc and build theseactivities into your day.
Writing a plan the night before will set you up for the dayahead. Don’t waste time writing a perfectly, neat, list in the morning ormaking it look fancy or even colour-coordinated. Procrastination is opportunity’s assassin. (Ijust looked that up). Factor in breaks to avoid burn out and if you’re meeting a mate for lunch, buildthat into your plan too and work hard right up to you leave. Guaranteed you'llenjoy it more and can reward yourself for your hard work and amazing superpowers of organisation.
Don’t, however, beat yourselfup if you haven’t done everything. Maybe you overloaded your list. No dramas –just stick it on tomorrow’s.
So to compartmentaliseis to conquer. It will give you a sense of achievement that you might belacking in right now. There's something really quite satisfying about tickingsomething off your list. ‘Watch E! News’. Check.
4. Banana Pancakes (and other food)
Always eat breakfast - at breakfast time. This does not mean eatCrunchy Nut Cornflakes out of the packet with one hand at 10.45 am while typinga covering letter with the other. A proper breakfast will set you up for theday. Have a spot of lunch too, and do what you'd normally do if you were at workduring your lunch break (improvise if you don't have a Top Shop opposite yourhouse). Drink water throughout the day to keep hydrated. Bored of water? Justput a slice of lemon or lime or mint etc in it. Nibble on super foodsthroughout the day, especially if you’re at home. Nuts, wholegrain foods,berries, eggs, green tea, and even dark chocolate can have a powerful affect onthe brain’s energy, how your mind handles tasks and your general mood.
Happyeating.
5. You’re the Best Around
But in the words of Dickens, it's all about Great Expectations.Research has shown that if you think what you want often you get it. So go getit. Always wanted to work in retail marketing? Do some research, find out howto apply and fling over your CV with a stand out covering letter firmlyattached to the back of it. You never know, Mary Portas might be that verymoment scratching her head thinking 'hmmm, if only I had a super efficient HRperson to complete my empire' as your email hits her PA’s inbox. Don't try,Don't get.
6. That’s What Friends are For
I'm going to be honest now. Or transparent which is a very good HRword. In my darkest moments when my nearest and dearest have had (in my mind)the audacity to moan about their jobs, my inner voice has shouted but at least you have a job!!! and I'vewanted to flounce off somewhere and sob. But that's entirely unfair. Yes, itfeels safe and secure to be in full time or even contracted employment but thatdoesn't mean it's not highly stressful, mind-bogglingly dull or involves aninteraction with a boss who would make Anna Wintour seem like, really reallysweet. Don't take it personally. Be empathetic - not envious. Listen and offerwords of advice or an open ear. You'll be moaning about your job again beforeyou know it.
Having said that, surround yourself with good, positive peopleand let their concerned and helpful vibes be the fuel that drives you. Thankthe ones that genuinely want to help and keep an eye out for any opportunitiesfor you. Avoid the ones who make you feel bad for now.
7. The Lazy Song
Give yourself a break and do things you could only dream of when thejob had you chained to your desk at 8pm. Meet your maternity leave friends fora cheap bite, read that book everyone’s been talking about. Spend time withchildren - they can make any miserable day seem utterly joyous just with asmile (by this I mean children you know, like ones in your family or whosemother is your friend. Not random children).
Take a break in a coffee shop or pub and read a book instead ofa professional update. Hey, go crazy and order a glass of wine. Feels goodright? Stop feeling guilty. If you've followed my advice you would havecompartmentalised your day, worked really hard and done something brave todayso cut yourself some slack. Besides, if you were at work you would not beworking every single millisecond of the day. You would stop every now and then.So stop.
8. I like to Move It
Do something active every day. I'm not talking a feat ofmarathonian proportions. Go for a walk, hit the gym, try that rumba class inthe church hall you could never get to. Dance on your own at home. Exercisedecreases the stress hormones such as cortisol and increases endorphins. Endorphins are the body’s natural feel good chemicals, and when they are releasedthrough exercise, your mood is boosted naturally. Just half an hour a day will keepyou alert, focused and positive – and give you a break away from the dastardly screen.
9. You’re the Devil in Disguise
Don't sell your soul to the devil AKA the recruitment consultant. Don't get me wrong somerecruitment agencies are utterly brilliant. They get back to you when they saythey will. They get your name right, which is a plus. They have your bestinterests at heart and want to find you a job you can do, not a quick fix to nailingtheir targets and that big fat commission. (to my followers in the recruitmentworld, that's you!).
Some however are poo. They have an accredited qualificationin reverse psychology. They don’t pay attentionto a word you say. You’d rather go out on a night out with Frankie Cocozza andhis ‘birds’ then go visit their offices and fill out a 92-page registration form andsuffer the humiliation of talking about what you did in 2001 only to have themsay ‘Ok, we don’t have anything for you at the moment’ at the end of the 2hours.
So be selective and only go to the agencies where you feelconfident they can help you. Remember, there are hundreds of agencies but onlya handful of good ones. You’re in control. Don’t rely on recruitment agenciesonly; cast that net as wide as you possibly can. Network with all your contactsyou’ve made over the years, use LinkedIn, make direct approaches to companies, andscour the best job boards. Don’t put all your CVs in one basket.
10. Don’t Worry Be Happy
Do something every day that makes you smile, and treat yourself.This depends on what floats your boat and your bank account permits. Me?Fashion and music and mine permits bugger all. So today I looked at Tim Walker's website, YouTubed one of my favourite film scenes
and played my currentfavourite song very, very loud. Earthquake by Labrinth ft. Tinie Tempahsince you're asking. Hi-wired synths and massive beats. Uses the word f*ckquite a lot (see point 11) and turns his potty mouth on Simon Cowell too. Plusthis is a double win as hopefully it disturbs my neighbour. Right back at youplayer-of-too loud- absolute-shite.
11. (You’ve got me feeling) Emotions
Warning. This will come directly after point 10.
Ride the emotional rollercoaster - cry, swear, mope, just dowhat feels good and go with what you’re feeling that day. Some days you're sickto your back teeth of rejection. The only job you possibly have the skills toapply for is based in Peterborough and you’re all LinkedOut. You feel hopefulwhen an email pops up only to discover it's from somebody called Wasteland Skiand there’s Only 4 more days to get Free Goggles!
Job hunting sucks. Crying is thought to reduce stress and may gosome way to remove toxic substances from the body. So go on, have a big old soband let it all out. Then breathe, blow your nose and focus on the task ahead. Stillnot done? Swearing is good. Try it. It will make you feel empowered. Justdon't try this out on actual people; that's just rude. Finally, have a goodmope about. Idly flick through the TV channels, nonchantly peruse the contents ofthe fridge, scrutinize the IKEA catalogue for a sofa bed. You’ll soon getbored.
12. DaydreamBeliever
Lastly, job hunting can get you down in the dumps. It’s athankless task that involves too much time on your own. So why not pursueanother interest or hobby that you’ve been putting off for years or dosomething you simply never have time to do. Hopeful horticulturist? BuddingBuddhist? Amateur Astrologist? Or do you just simply want to clean out thatpesky kitchen cupboard or move your summer clothes out of your wardrobe? Usethis time productively while you've got it and try and get something out ofevery day. Build it into your 'list' and as long as you dedicate sufficient andproportionate time to finding a job, there's no reason to feel guilty. It'llgive you that all important sense of achievement, an extra string to add toyour bow and who knows where it'll take you. It's ok to dream.
Keepthe faith, hunters and good luck....
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